Christmas Story Wonders and musings....

Sorry as I pick it up already in progess.....

Who dressed Randy when he went HOME from school?

Who was johnny rich kid that had wax teeth for the whole class?

Was Grover Dill really a 36 year old dwarf?

Feelin the choice

So

There was a squirrel outside today....and it may sounds silly, but she/he was mocking my dog

Waggin that fluffy tail in her face, dippin, divin, on her turf, and just out of reach for my beast to give it a lesson.

SO

I'm goin nuts flyin all over the place lookin for something to whip at this trixster.

I'm a lover of all creatures big and small, but this is FAMILY!

The squirrel is on the tree trunk over the side of the fence so I am at a loss of what to do since if I hit or miss this object is gonna be over the line....literally

THe wife hears me fumbling and asks what the hell is going on.....

NO wood block, NO utensils...NO shoe...NO tools...NO soda can!!!!

finally I respond in a very Tracy Jordanesque tone....THIS SQUIRREL OUTSIDE IS MOCKING HER!

as it left the lips I knew how it sounded, but hey.....I don't act to be any different that I am...and SHE is locked in now :)

I hear back


ICE CUBES!


HOLY SHIT!

THIS is why she is the genius.

She hit the freezer and met me by the back porch for my winging escapade.



That is love my friends

Geeks vs Romantics

Honestly there are few classifications that classify such a WIDE range of people of all races covering a mass level of demographics....

I've contimplated something for a bit that just smacked me in the face

I'm watching this HORRID movie called "wasted" on like HBO29....you know the formula...one of those movies featuring a bunch of younger "those guys" actors....famous from being in the movie of just slight more well known "those guys".....

The infamous over the head boombox cusak / gabriel scene was tossed into common conversation...without a hesitiation

This scene has been referenced...commented...duplicated...in more ways than I can recall...

Once again...the other night I saw what was close to 64 seconds of a show called "greek".....I'm not gonna go with the "male dignity" saving comments of .......................it was late and I was curious

nevertheless! the boombox scene was REFERENCED!

I started to search for a counterpart.....

This scene was as famous as ricky after his vida loca hit number 1


I came with.......STAR WARS GOLD BIKINI SCENE!

Romantics....they can be old....tween...male...feamle....asian....sons...uncles.....as often black as white.....what other classification could cross and sustain such a mutual appreciation

*INSERT ORGE PIC HERE*

NERDS!

Hell Gilbert showed it best....there is a nerd in all of us

From Friends...to Veronice Mars...to references to cinnimonimonimun (I mock what I can't recall to spell) haricut style buns....the scene rules comicon to pron fantasy conversations

This movie SMOKED multi generational box offices dvd sales and rentals.....it's tough to find people that haven't seen the trilogy

THOUGH the battle of the sexes is lost here.....ie.....though women are aware and might participate in such an act ..... it is RARELY THEIR fantasy

This is where the Box office numbers of Return of the Jedi vs Say Anything come in as the variable


SO

What say you?

THE CURE II???

ok....so im sitting here watching an mtv special about the revision of pearl jam ten...which they have taken an amazing amount of time blown up the rockband downloadable pack!!! (but that is for another time)

what i am realizing is that i have never before tonight TOTALLY gripped why i never took to the jam...i just never really liked them

i COMEPLETELY understand the legitimacy of the baseless hatred...i have a many

so i chalked it up to that


i am listening to eddie vedder talk about the "meaning" of jeremy...he cleverly sidesteps and says...and i paraphrase...i dont want to tell everyone what jeremy is about...cause that would rob all the people of what it means to them

amazing

brill

no one can deny that jeremy is a song that is magnanimous ... and now i am crediting it ALL to vedder...i see this video with his for the time of 14-25 demo nails version of style...hit the peak during the peak

***hold on beastie boys just came on live and they are playing root down***

Now theres a band that diversified and adapted and experimented and still kept personality

but.....circling the wagons

VEDDER!

amazing frontman for an average band...i was watching this special and some of the "jam" used to be in mother lovebone...yet in so many words decided to ditch this band and hitch a ride on eddie

i see his twitching capturing the "grunge" mindframe of the money market with his no look "im damaged" stares and his is totally nailing it

for the timeframe

i knew i never liked "the music"....of pearl jam but still had the memories being an impressionable aged 90s yoot...and never took the time to delve into it

im not going to COMPLETELY insult the band and give it a justin timberlake nsync label as the equivalent of styles....cause though they exploited a trend....they still actually tried to comtinue to make relevant music and not selling out

but i am going to link them to the cure....a band you know and dig some of their songs in the future...but unless you were caught up in attitude that was so preciscely targeted toward you will not really remember them as one of the greats...just another band on the juke that you comment about due to their short lived domination of a trend

HAND BURN!

Not to be confused with Handbone





I still can't decide if I am pissed or in awe of the stretched out ghoul doing that on the floor of my Illini


but I digress


HAND BURN.....this is the ever growing and changing festering THING on my hand.


It looks like lasagna that was left out on the counter over the course of a weekend....
It looks like not so special effect "pizza the hut" from spaceballs fame...
It looks like I fingerbanged Madonna circa '93
It looks like I am escaping hand prison with a scuplted lectoresque handmask made from other people's hand skin....


I think you are getting it......

Of course this happened while cooking pregame after a couple cocktails...so that the time it was "aight"

Then 2 days later is was bubbly.....so I slapped some leftover aloe sunburn lotion from the honeymoon

After a drinky weekend night and reaching in my pocket for phone and smokes repeatedly it is the raw maid rite sammich I see before me....

In my cavemanlike existance I have been in the 2 day routine of dousing it with peroxide and slathering it with neosporin from time to time....


I prolly should have seen a doc


*makes note*


That whole "chicks dig scars" statement was not just a t-shirt scam in the 80s......was it?

A blip on a map

As you are well aware I live in the wonderful hamlet of Champaign Illinois



It is a blip on a map for many of you..........but one very important blip for the thousands of people that choose to be my neighbors

Damn skippy we are the ONLY spot east of Old Man river (aka the mighty Miss) to be graced with a Weinerschnitzel.

I have sported a Weinderdude attitude since I was a glimmer in my father's eye.


This is a tribute and long overdue to this gorgeous place o nosh.

Sure we can get into the fact that you can stuff yourself chilisenseless for 3 bucks....that's right....chili cheeseburger....chilidog....chili cheese fries....3 fuckin dollars

I can find that much cash rooting through my laundry....it saved my ass in high school when I used my lunch money on MD 20/20 Banana Red and dime bags of schwag....there was always enough for a chilifusion to get me by.

Then they got all innovative on me....now I am a sucker for all types of novelty fast food items....but let's face it....most are a whole lot of bad....that's why they arent on the menu all the time

sure there are the occasional mcdonalds melts, or buffalo dippers from arby's but a lot of it is spun on the hype machine faster than annabell chong.

The thing is ..... the schnitz doesn't even advertise!!! At least not in this market.

So everytime I got by I am treated to another masterpiece concocted by who I can only assume is my long lost twin

First I was treated to a little item known as pupsters...mini sandwiches of sliced hot dogs with pickle chips, onion straws, ranch dressing and chipotle-pepper sauce layered between dinner-sized sweet rolls.....good god!!! you hit my flavor clit and kept strokin

good work!!!

I'm a messy guy....I have no fears in being such....I get pissed having to eat my chili cheese fries with a fork....just looks silly and defeats the purposes passed down to me by the flavor gods....get in there and get nasty....yet the good folks of the schnitz cancelled all heistation in ordering this foodstuff layed before us by odin hisself AND kept our manhood

FUCKIN CHILI CHEESE FRIES BURRITO!!!!

it's so genius it should have hit me years ago.....if all marriages were this successful!


I could go on and on and ON about being so lucky to be a blip on a radar but I must conclude this passage before my belly wakes up the neighbors

I'm jonesin....

Did I tell you they added NACHO CHEESE to the chili dags!!!.....I might even pretzel bun it on one of them....just for the likely odd I will spontaniously cry from joy.


I think this little pic from their home page says it all

http://www.wienerschnitzel.com/world_pusher_view.php?pusher=91


only you guys can make me proud to call myself


a weiner lover

I have now decided that my ultimate job would be

Cast....Bozo Show...1978-1984