Underrated Movie of the Day

Sure any movie that features Willie Ames as a teacher porking king of the school is gonna kick ass, but what steals the show is the presence of the underutilized Scatman Crothers!

There is a scene where the Scatman gets stoned and dethroned from a furnace full of the stinky sticks and slips into a state of pure bliss.

His mind takes him to a land where he and Albert Einstein are riding bikes through some beautiful scenery

THEN HIS WIFE SHOWS UP TO THROW LARGE SALAMIS AT HIM!

Why won't his wife let him have the salami?

I'm sure there is some deep inuendo of role reversal that I am choosing to ignore here, but that scene flat out smokes.

well and of course there is a whole lot of nudity, cause wisely most 80s movies showed some for the hell of it, and because they liked to please. Not just open it up for all ages so some little 12 year old shit can buy a ticket for box office results, rather than just sneak in like we used to do!

I am a firm believer that this movie started my obsession with all things legs, and of course garter belts

it still makes it move like a squirrel in a gunny sack.

Thank you Zapped!

A NUMBE ONE SUPASTAH

I fear going to Branson.....not the smell of embalming fluid and a ripe depend



but fear that I will fall under the spell of one

I fear one note of the masterful bowing will place me under a spell that I will not awaken.

I will wear the suit. I will become the suit.

I have however paid omage to the man, strike that, the diety that is Shoji.

It is my new phrase for instances such as......


......Prepping for date, and realizing that I am out of skintimate shaving gel for my balls

SHOJI TABUCHI!

......Losing in a game of warm gin

SHOJI TABUCHI!

......Tearing my latest Long John Silvers hat

SHOJI TABUCHI!

......Getting shunned by the Meijer greeter that dresses her oxygen tank like a little human

SHOJI TABUCHI!

WHOAH DONUTS!

There was a jolly fellow named Roy. Roy was in a movie called "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey." Not my favorite Bill and Ted's movie, but I digress. There was one of those "makes no sense" moments in that movie that caused snot to pour and sides to hurt for no apparent reason. These happen from time to time. It's the only reason I bought Robin Hood Men In Tights, and so on....but I'm gettting all tangent-y again.


During this movie there is a point where Bill and Ted are dead and decide to possess their dad and co captain of the police department to inform them of wrong doings in the little town of San Dimas. Once they realized they were in the bodies, the shorter dumpier man proclaims "WHOAH DOUGH-NUTS!" in a spot on cali surfer that has been dead for days and craving fried pastry accent.


I lost it.


Once again, can't explain it.


It got me by the brain banana.



It was either contageous or my best friend and I share the same brain, but he lost it as well. This was '93, I was just barely getting my license, and just starting to make out with Mary Jane for the first times in my life. The phrase stuck. Anytime something awesome or awestriking would happen we would proclaim. "WHOAH DO-NUTS!" The space is there because there is a break in his exclamation.


Anyhooo.....my mom asked me about it one day and embarassingly I try to explain it the best way I can without hearing her eyeballs rolling, and actually show her one day on TV.


To my surprise she says, "oh, that's Roy Brocksmith" all nonchalantly. My eyes popped and asked how she knows this. Apparently Roy is from Q-town...teh tip...aka...Quincy Illinois. Birthplace to my mother and home of one Roy Brocksmith. I was floored!



The next time we visited we actually run into him at one of the only 2 really nice restaraunts in town and of course I have him outgraph my napkin.


say it with me.....


"WHOAH DO-NUTS!"


Roy Brocksmith.



That was my donut story....then this morning I found myself assisting a broadcast at Dunkin Donuts for a fundraiser which featured donut batting practice with the St. Joe baseball team, a donut hole eating contest with the Champaign Fire and Police Chiefs, and meeting the new Illini Women's basketball coach, she was awesome, very nice, excited, and friendly....I wish he the most of successes...she was asked to spin a jelly donut in her finger....being a former globetrotter and all....surprising she was really damn close for being a stupid thing to ask someone to do





Then came the donut throw.....the amazing Juice to Leskis connection was in the works....our starting QB Juice Williams was to throw donuts from Dunkin....across Green St. over to me in the CVS parking lot....





The first one cruised over my head, and I nearly plastered myself into a pickup truck trying to pull it in for the score....not my best showing...I lost a shoe





I was ready for number 2.....BOOM...I was on it! Tracking it and it was heading almost to the exact same spot.....then upon re-entry it slowly disinigrated into a sugar cube sized pellet and fell before me.


After the flag football game last year, I still have no TD catches for the Illini in any way, shape, or form.



Although fun, it will not be my NEW donut story
























R.I.P.

Roy


may your days be forever donut filled

649,739 times it works EVERY time!

So yes, I folded a royal flush....the creme de la creme of all poker hands....I've never even SEEN one before

No that is not why I folded it....I had no business being in that hand

I'm playing poker with my buddies, not even drinkin'....I brought energy drinks to actually concentrate and try to win some cashish for my upcoming trip.....

Aboot 4 hands into the game I am dealt a queen and 10 of diamonds....not a great hand, but no one raises so I match the blinds for some cheap cards

Flop comes up, 9, K, 5.....the king also happens to be diamonds.

I am on the button there is a raise, and a re-raise.....so at this point I am at LEAST putting someone on kings, cause the 9 and 5 are not diamonds so that avoids any chance for a flush draw as I would possibly have them matched there

I fold, I have no business in the hand anymore, I am not gonna bluff at it with the re-raise

Turn - Jack of diamonds

River - the mother fuckin Ace of diamonds

My balls and heart shook hands


Thus ended my sober card playing for the night....




We ended the evening with a peanut fight and grillin choice cuts of meat at Texas Roadhouse around 4am

I'm sombody's NIGGA!

wurd

In the ever growing experience of my myspace experiment I have discovered a whole world of entertianment....it's vast and I will catch you up on it....but today my newest friend found me!

This is Reggie

and he's my nigga

Here is the message he sent me

"What's up nigga? I saw you listed in this ACC group as a member and shit. So I don't want you think that we know each other but I Hope we can stay in touch cuz I like college sports too. I rep Wazzu Cougs and OU Sooners cuz I went to wsu and graduated and nwo at OU for master's. how's life nigga? I'm so missing college fball..get at me nigga.."

Now I can recite Menace II Society word for word, and have seen The Wu Tang Clan live in concert, but how did Reggie know??!??

First thought was SPAM....but after he added me as friends, I went to his page.....he is legit and now were are legitamately friends now.

He sent me this gem just recently via a bulletin post

"GMAIL is the way to go....

You can only get a GMAIL email account if you are sent an invitation. It's so much better than yahoo, hotmail, aol, etc. Way more storage room and less spam.Send me a current email address if you want a GMAIL.I only have 99 invites left. =)"

Thanks Reggie!