Paign Crash
OK....so last week I am at Guido's and I meet up with some guys taking some massive amounts of shots...when that happens I sniff it out like a dog and come running....guys doing this are usually jovial and willing to pass out spillovers.....usually a hot occasion
A WEDDING
They lay down the time, place, date.....etc....
Why not?
So here is a quick highlight reel by bullet point formation....since I was layin low for quite sometime, introducing myself, and coolin my heels....then I noticed a lot of people on the smoking deck.....that in most cases is the party crowd, which featured the whole group of groomsmen....it was on from there
- Smoked 2 stogies with scotch
- Had a great convo with a strip club bartender, he sboob were like cantelopes......I motorboated them later...she was quite the exhibitionist
- I danced with the mother of the groom aka "Mother Goose"....the song, "Beat It".....I kept my hands off of my junk, but did deal the imaginary cards
- We tried to catch a pigeon in a fish bowl yanked from one of the centerpieces.....he was just chillin on this beam above the porch for like, 3 hours.....we had to try toget him, we named him Doja
- I served many a beer to take the burden off of the cash bar, they stopped me when I went to start pouring jager shots........so I stole the bottle later on, and instantly upped my status
- Met my doppleganger....apparently when he reaches a certain stage of drunk, he is referred to as "mumblaya".....much like my alter ego "crazyeyes mcgee"....we hit it off immediately, but I never changed....he did.....wandered out to the golf course and passed out, when he was pelted by everything imaginable from the deck, including the ice bucket which was placed over his head later on.......he requested chain of fools 18 times, and the DJ did not have it
- In tribute to the movie, "Shout" was requested in my honor....yet no motage of falling sboob fell before me :(
- Found the one only other guy on the planet that enjoyed the movie "Haggard" as much as me, we quoted lines all night
- Flirted HARD with one of the maids of honor (there were 2 of them)
- Thought I blew it with my "honor" toast for another round of jagers....."If you can't cum in her, cum honor"....crass YES, but usually brings the house down amongst drunken dudetypes
- Got pretty pasted and we all headed to the bar, and I called a ride home from my buddy.....turns out the maid DID want some outta town strange, but I was pretty black-y by that point....my buddy who picked me up said "Some girl came out and grabbed your tie when you were leaving the bar, and tried to pull you back in"......"You karate chopped her arm, and said, I got mothin" and walked to my car
- BOGGLE.....................One side of me thinks that I was really spent, because this was HARD work making this evening pop, and being accepted.....Another theory is that I am actually growing up and looking for much more out of girls
I prefer to believe the first one
I'll edit if more comes back to me....I have been uber lazy, and was uber drunky, but I KNOW I have left some stories out.....I could share some of the groomsmen's stories busting on each other, those guys we kinda manimalish......and I likes that
A WEDDING
They lay down the time, place, date.....etc....
Why not?
So here is a quick highlight reel by bullet point formation....since I was layin low for quite sometime, introducing myself, and coolin my heels....then I noticed a lot of people on the smoking deck.....that in most cases is the party crowd, which featured the whole group of groomsmen....it was on from there
- Smoked 2 stogies with scotch
- Had a great convo with a strip club bartender, he sboob were like cantelopes......I motorboated them later...she was quite the exhibitionist
- I danced with the mother of the groom aka "Mother Goose"....the song, "Beat It".....I kept my hands off of my junk, but did deal the imaginary cards
- We tried to catch a pigeon in a fish bowl yanked from one of the centerpieces.....he was just chillin on this beam above the porch for like, 3 hours.....we had to try toget him, we named him Doja
- I served many a beer to take the burden off of the cash bar, they stopped me when I went to start pouring jager shots........so I stole the bottle later on, and instantly upped my status
- Met my doppleganger....apparently when he reaches a certain stage of drunk, he is referred to as "mumblaya".....much like my alter ego "crazyeyes mcgee"....we hit it off immediately, but I never changed....he did.....wandered out to the golf course and passed out, when he was pelted by everything imaginable from the deck, including the ice bucket which was placed over his head later on.......he requested chain of fools 18 times, and the DJ did not have it
- In tribute to the movie, "Shout" was requested in my honor....yet no motage of falling sboob fell before me :(
- Found the one only other guy on the planet that enjoyed the movie "Haggard" as much as me, we quoted lines all night
- Flirted HARD with one of the maids of honor (there were 2 of them)
- Thought I blew it with my "honor" toast for another round of jagers....."If you can't cum in her, cum honor"....crass YES, but usually brings the house down amongst drunken dudetypes
- Got pretty pasted and we all headed to the bar, and I called a ride home from my buddy.....turns out the maid DID want some outta town strange, but I was pretty black-y by that point....my buddy who picked me up said "Some girl came out and grabbed your tie when you were leaving the bar, and tried to pull you back in"......"You karate chopped her arm, and said, I got mothin" and walked to my car
- BOGGLE.....................One side of me thinks that I was really spent, because this was HARD work making this evening pop, and being accepted.....Another theory is that I am actually growing up and looking for much more out of girls
I prefer to believe the first one
I'll edit if more comes back to me....I have been uber lazy, and was uber drunky, but I KNOW I have left some stories out.....I could share some of the groomsmen's stories busting on each other, those guys we kinda manimalish......and I likes that
posted by paigniac at 7:28 PM
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